COPS COAX CONDIT'S COCK'S CONFESSION

PRICK PASSES POLYGRAPH! COCKFIGHT ERUPTS!

Sources close to the Condit/Levy investigation have informed Yuks! that during a police search of cocky & cocksure Congressman Gary Condit's crotch, his dick asked to speak to them privately.

Over cocktails and the objections of the legislator's attorney I.M. Lowe, the member's member was taken to a separate room and questioned in the presence of its recently acquired counsel, Johnnie Cockring.

Condit's cock comes clean at recent press conference;  accuses Condit of fucking flirtatious female fans.

Condit's cock's defense attorney, Johnnie Cockring: "If my client had an affair with a vagina, I'm Aunt Jemima!"

No details of the cockamamie conversation were revealed other than the cock is said to have, "sung like a cockatoo and named vaginas." The cock also claims to be able to identify the women involved; in its words, "I can put a face on those snatches. I got a view of these chicks only their dentist has seen. This is no cock-and-bull story!"

A spokesman for the congressman denies the cock's allegations, saying the cock is just out for revenge, still blaming Condit for its painful circumcision fifty three years ago. "That penis is a cockroach! The congressman is the victim here; the victim of an out of control cock! Add a skilled-at-cocksucking flight attendant or intern to the equation and you can see he didn't stand a chance. This investigation is completely cockeyed!"

Condit, addressing reporters, his hair waving like a cockscomb in the wind and looking knocked on his coccyx by stories he says the cock concocted, had no comment on comments attributed to his cock.

Although Condit's cock passed polygraph test, his 'prick print' has yet to be examined by F.B.I.

Incriminating evidence: Police drawing of vagina named by Condit's cock.