Ronald McDonald Sex Scandal
Los Angeles (Advertising Age)  Embarrassed McDonald's officials had no comment after publication of a photo showing company spokesclown Ronald McDonald receiving oral sex from a homeless woman allegedly in exchange for a Big Mac, fries, and a Coke.

This was not the first time accusations had been made against him. Sources say many female staffers had come forward in the past complaining about his "insistent grabbing and groping."

One victim claimed McDonald cornered her and; "...stuck that big red tongue down my throat and almost made me puke. He was always acting like he was jerking off the shake machine before he'd pour a milkshake and stuff like that."

His attorney Johnnie "Rush To Judgment" Cockring maintains McDonald's innocence and says he looks forward to vindicating him in a court of law. "This woman seduced my client like some kind of Jezebel. He was standing there, minding his own business when she coerced him into this blow job. She MADE him take a seat on the bench! If the clown does not sit, you must acquit!"