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(YUKS.COM NEWS)
See L. Rubber Chicken on the issues
Yuks.com founder, The Reverend L. Rubber Chicken, citing the need for a First Lady "...with a heavenly rack, mouth like a vacuum attachment, and a vice grip pudendum," confirmed that Carmen Electra, longtime gal-pal of the billionaire presidential candidate, paralyzed from the neck down due to a crossing the road accident, will be his First Lady after his victory in the upcoming general erection. Supporters of L. Rubber, as his friends call him, are all crowing about the announcement, with many saying, "She's the only 'bush' we want in Lincoln's bedroom."
As this exclusive Yuks.com photo by staff photographer Michael "Junior" Mintz suggests, the duo is quite sexually active despite Chicken's "paralyzed" status.
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